Friendship_Question and Answer

I have a question about friendship. I have read your book which dealt with the vital of friendship which is an important fact in life, but I have problem with my family, I am single but I am preparing to marry, I have friends and lovers, but I have bad relationship with my family, they want me to respect them, consider me as child want to interfere to my lifestyle even in the case of choosing friends, they blame all my friends and me too sometime my friends know their hatred, my family tell me to cut relationship with them, really I am confused, I do not know what to do many times I have change friends but the problem is the same, the problem is my family kind of understanding not the friends. knowing that there is not in this life complete person such as Abu ZAR which Salman believes always, as my family think, want me to be far away from my friends and be alone seat at home. There is discussion and argument and wasting time and I am plagued by depression and nervous as they always challenging me what is your advice Moulay?

Response:

In the Name of God the Merciful the Compassionate.

My son first of all if the problem has reached to choose between friends and family, family especially parents are priority over relatives, what about other! Parent over friends. But if you can gather them do it, and keep every one his right without hurting others feeling.

Let me narrate you a story which my Mother (may God forgive her) has narrated to me in my childhood as I was at that time like you having many friends he told me this story: there was a man who has only one friend but his son has many friends about forty friends the man want to advise his son how to choose a real friend. Man asks his son do you tested your friends? Son says no need to do that they all are my real friends, the man says that is no problem let try, at the end son accepte, then the man brings a ram and slaughts it and cut it to pieces and put it in a box, man says to his son get it we bring it to your masterpiece friends tell them there was a guest in our house, we argued between us then I kill him give me a hand to bury him before sunset, when his friend hear that he starts to apologize ten thousand times my foot hurts me I am seek….then he close the door, they continue doing this turning around his all friends but the answer was the same until dawn the man tell his son these are your fouty friends let go to my unique friend and tell him the same things that we said to your friends when they hit the door the man friend  does not open the door soon but he waits sometime when he was preparing, he comes out by grave clothe with sword and torch the man ask his friend what happen? Why you wear this and this fully preparation tell me? he replies, I know why you come to me this time it is not a simple case, I wear this cloth to show you my sacrifice and this torch to lighten you the way this sword to defend you from your enemy, then the man tell him calm down easy, the matter is that we have guest and we argued together then the fate comes we kill him now we want to bury him give us hand, the man and his son and friend return home the house was full of polices, man ask what happen police replies that we received forty complains saying that there is murder in this house, man say the fact is not like that we kill a ram, he bring the box and show it to the police, son was surprise of this kind of betrayed from his friends!

Do you tested your friend?